Self-Originating Love

"Transformed by the gospel, our love is to be self-originating, not elicited by the loveliness of the loved. For that is the way it is with God."  -DA Carson


This quote has been at the center of my thoughts for several days now. What a powerful, yet simple truth. If we were to apply this gospel truth to our relationships, how transformed they would be!


The Gospel is this: 
   God, being rich in mercy, because of HIS GREAT LOVE, chose me: a dead corpse who was rotting and decaying in my own sin.  He chose me (aka: the stinky corpse) to love, accept, redeem, adopt. He chose me to love, not because I was lovable, lovely, or worthy, but because he IS love. And through his love, he washed away the decaying stench and made me a living being. He made me human again. He broke the curse of death that sin had wreaked havoc against me and breathed life into my soul. (Ephesians 2)
    Because of that great truth, my ability to love and have relationships with others is then transformed. Love then, comes from the fact that God loved me greatly, not from how lovable or unlovable those around me are.
  
    Some examples that come to mind...


   I am able to love my husband regardless of what he does or doesn't do. Regardless of how he makes me feel or not feel. Regardless of how holy or sinful he is. My love is "self-originating" because it comes from the living-spring that God has placed within me.
    People sometimes ask if I worry about children I adopt being pre-disposed to genetic disorders or having mental illness due to abuse. When fears begin to fester within me about fostering/adopting children with unknown factors that may affect their development, God's love within me is able to drown out those sinful thoughts, because loving a child who might be considered "unlovely" in the world's eyes is a precious opportunity to experience in a microscopic way the unearned love God has for me.
    When I am wronged, hurt, or sinned against, I am able to love my enemies. Yes, they are far from deserving my love, but I was also an enemy of God and yet, he loved and redeemed me. My love towards them is not based on their actions or loveliness, it is based on the love within me.
    Of course, to call my love for my spouse, my family, my enemies "self-originating" may give the impression that I muster up this love from within, which is hardly the case. Rather, because of the work that God did within me, he infused my heart with his unending love. That is what empowers me to love those around me, even the "unlovable".
    Knowing this truth helps me to identify my unloving thoughts as anti-gospel. When I try to tell myself why I am justified to stay angry, bitter, or resentful the Holy Spirit reminds me that these unloving thoughts are an assault on the heart of the gospel. When I chose to replay a painful or offensive situation over and over in my mind, I am reminded that I am filling my mind with poison. Instead I can think about how Christ has chosen to forget my sin and make me his daughter...knowing my offenses to God far outweigh the greatest offense any human has ever paid me.
    Of course, far too often I chose to let my mind wander far too long in anger, bitterness, and resentment. And I am all too slow to take my thoughts captive and fill my mind with Gospel truths. But I praise God for the riches of his grace that continues to seep God's love deeper into my heart and allows more and more victory in this area....for His Glory alone!