sTiCkY NoTeS

Vermon and I were out of town in April for almost a week without our kiddos. Leaving town is always hard for me (and them!). I'm sure no child likes having Mommy gone for a few days, but especially children whose life began with some difficult losses, having Mommy away brings up a flood of emotions for our children. And I typically feel nervous, anxious, and guilty for whatever negative emotions might come up for them as a result of us being away.

But this time when we came home, I was surprised to see how well the kids did (compared to past shorter trips away). Their sadness/missing us seemed more normal child behavior. It was much less about their past and more about just missing their Mommy and Daddy. Instead of returning to tantrums and super emotional children, we returned to stacks of pictures and projects made for us. This was very exciting to me and just another answer to prayer as I watch the Lord continue to heal my children, mend their broken hearts, and knit their lives to ours.

A few days after we returned I cleaned out Marcel's lunch box and found a sticky note from one of the young ladies in our church who helped get Marcel to/from school. "Marcel, I'm praying for you. Have a great day!" I cannot tell you what it meant to me to read that note. Sticky notes in lunch boxes are what I do for my son and to know that even that small detail was still taken care of filled me with such joy. My children are deeply loved and cared for by their church family and I know that a large part of why it seems like Marcel and Mya have grown so much in such a short period of time is because the role our church family has played in loving them.

And it wasn't just sticky notes in lunch boxes...another friend picked Marcel up for a special play date. Another took Mya on special "Target" shopping trips so she'd have time to talk one-on-one about how the week was going. Another took them on special trips over the weekend to explore old ghost towns and eat pistachio ice cream.

And none of this was necessary...my dad ("Grampy") was doing a great job taking care of them and loving on them, but having so many other friends take the time to check in with them made such a difference...

...I'm so thankful for a church family that cares not only about physical needs being met for the orphan, but their heart needs as well. I know that the Roosevelt Church community has been instrumental in my children's healing and I am so thankful for my family.

A Family of Adoptees

One of the beautiful things about the theology of adoption is that it changes the way we think, speak of, and do “church”.

Being a part of a church community that understands adoption is a life-changing, beautiful thing. It is unlike anything you will ever experience on this earth, because it is a taste of our eternal reality.

Read the rest @ the Together for Adoption

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Look Like You

I recently wrote a three part piece on the Together For Adoption blog answering the question, "Can you love a child you adopt as much as you love your biological children?"

Check out the entire post @ T4A

a FULL house

Mya has a doll house that she absolutely loves playing with. Recently, she had her 3 infant babies, 3 kids, and 1 teenager all sitting in one room.  Vermon joked with Mya, "what on earth are there 3 babies for? 3 babies at once is crazy!"  Without skipping a beat Mya looked up at Vermon and said, "its okay Daddy, I use some of them as foster kids." Marcel often asks newly weds at our church how long before they will have a baby or adopt some kids.

I love that they play, think, and speak this way. I love that they assume couples will adopt one day and that they see foster care and adoption as natural as having babies is. I pray they continue to grow up with this attitude and that us adults would shift our thinking to match theirs!

Unadoptable

We belong on the “unadoptable” list. We are delinquent prostitutes, murderers, and thieves who never should have had even a glimpse of God’s kingdom.

For the rest of my post, check out: Together for Adoption

Loving Children When They're Unlovable

I talked to a foster parent recently who was explaining how she doesn’t know how you can get through foster care without first tasting the love of Christ. There is so much truth to that statement! Of course, we can be thankful for evidences of God’s common grace in enabling people who are not Christians to still love children, but at the end of the day, the best place to go to see perfect love for unlovable people is the cross.

Sometimes when we parent, our children are not particularly “lovable.” What parent looks at their 2 year old throwing a tantrum on the supermarket floor and says, “Oh, how adorable! I just want to give this child some hugs and kisses?” I have worked with many teenagers who were not the most inviting people to talk with and love on. Their parents even begin to talk about feeling intimidated by them and finding themselves tempted to withdraw from their kids. Or what about difficult things that go along with attachment disorders, autism, substance exposure, and past traumatic memories?

In parenting, as in every other area of life, the best way to grow in our ability to face difficult situations with joy is by understanding two very important truths:

[Read the rest of the post: here]

When Life Is Hard: Adoption Matters!

A complaint I often hear when I counsel women is that their life is hard. Sometimes it is in
relation to foster care or adoption. Often it is their marriage or their children. Perhaps it is difficulty with their job, their boss, their mother-in-law. Or it could be physical illness, infertility, exhaustion, singleness, business, depression, grief, loss…and I am sure that you can add to the list with many more difficult things.

Life can devastate us. We live in a world full of sin and evil and the weight of our broken world can feel overwhelming. Too often we respond to trials as though we do not deserve them, are surprised by them, or are unable to overcome them. But adoption gives us a different perspective when life is hard.

Read the rest of the post @ Together For Adoption