Open doors, permanent walls

Marcel attempted to explain to my dad what our family is like. His explanation went something like this:

    "Grampy, our family is kinda like a house that always has open doors. The Pierres are the walls, so we're permanent. No matter what, we will always be family, because we're forever family. But we always have our doors open, that way people who need to barrow a family for a little while can come and make our home their family while they need us."

   I think this is such a great analogy for what we want our family to be. Our children have lived here for 2 and a half years now and have seen many people "join" our family for periods of time. We've had older single people who have shared our table and been "family" to them and foster kids spend weekends with us. There is a steady flow of neighborhood kids coming in and out and half their "aunts and uncles" are in no way related to Vermon or myself (except through Christ!). We've had teenagers live with us, children needing family spend weekends or weeks with us. We truly have a home with open doors. (in a future post I'll write why this is!)

   Our kids love this about our life and Marcel often tells me how fun it is to have so many people who are "like" brothers, sisters, grandpas, aunts, and uncles. But when there is a change, it is challenging for our kids. When a temporary friend moves out of our house (or off our couch), or a kid we provided respite care for a few days goes home... Marcel and Mya both talk about how sad it makes them and how hard it is. But I am always amazed and proud of how their little hearts process through their feelings and come to the conclusion that we are blessed to be able to be family to people who need families, even if it is for a short period of time!

    One thing that is on my mind a lot with our upcoming new baby is how it will affect our kids to have babies living with us who we potentially won't be able to adopt. We have no way of knowing if we will foster 1 or 10 babies before we can adopt, but we know we want to love each one as though it were our own. Many people have already begun to talk about how challenging that will be and no doubt it will be very painful!

    I am praying constantly that God would bring us a baby who will need a forever home, but I also know that although my heart has many plans, it is the Lord's purposes that will prevail (proverbs 19:21). I know that if God plans for us to have ten babies, it is because he planned for us to adopt that tenth baby before the baby was ever knit together in her mother's womb. I know that each child we have in our home we will have because God has ordained for us to cross paths with family members and case workers that we never would have crossed paths with. I know that each baby we have, even if it is for days, is because we are to love and nurture and care for them as though they were our own.

So loss will be hard, loss will be painful, but as a mother, what worries me the most is the loss and pain my kids will go through. I have begun to prepare them that we do not know if this baby will be in our forever family, but that God has called us to love her. Mya and I have been talking a lot about what it means to "suffer for Christ" and how this is a suffering that will be hard, but will bring such blessing because we will be able to love a baby who needs love desperately. I know I cannot shelter my children from difficulty or pain and so I talk with them and teach them how to "count it all joy" when trials come, and how we can truly "rejoice in our sufferings."

Missionary: Who I am, Not What I Do

My new post is up @ Together for Adoption: http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?p=11939

Loving Your Friend Through Infertility

Just read this series of blog posts called: Loving Your Friend Through Infertility I appreciated so much about the series and encourage you to take the time to read it. It is grounded and rooted in the gospel, honest, and helpful if you have friends struggling with infertility.


I worry sometimes that I might be the last person that a couple who faced infertility would talk with because I am so passionate about advocating for orphan care. While I do believe adoption is an AMAZING way to grow your family, it still doesn't cure the pain and heartache that comes with infertility. It would be terrible if couples struggling with infertility were fearful to speak about their suffering because they were worried they'd be expected to "cure" it through adoption. Adoption should be seriously and prayerfully considered by ALL Christian families (yes, I said it...ALL!) in the church, not just ones who struggle to get pregnant. 

Angry.

Imagine being a child or teenager, covered in bruises from your most recent beating, hungry, cold, and all your belongings in a grocery store bag. You are tired. Your parent was just taken away in a police car and you are scared. But you don't get to go home to a safe family who will at least give you a clean bed to sleep in...instead you will spend the next few nights sleeping on a cot in the office of child protective services...until they finally find you space in a homeless shelter.

I have been trying to focus on the positive aspects of adoption and lay off my ranting and raving about all the problems with how few people actually adopt and foster. But tonight I am just angry...angry to tears and discouraged by the fact that for every 10 Christians in Arizona (or maybe more like every 100, or 1000) there is only 1 child who needs a home, but still Christians are not answering the call. Actually, if 1 out of every 5 churches in Phoenix took in ONE child, this problem would be solved. There is ONE single church in Phoenix that has more members in the congregation then there are children who need a family tonight. Yet, tonight, the churches of Phoenix are failing to care for their orphans. If we cannot meet the needs of the few thousand "orphans" in Arizona, how are we going to begin to address the much more complex and desperate situation of the world-wide orphan crisis?

The Arizona Republic today posted an article about the CPS squeeze and talked about the strain on the foster care system. Less foster families + more children= huge problems. They ran out of foster homes, group homes, homeless shelters, and now children are sleeping in the child protective services offices.

When I worked in the domestic violence shelter, I had a first hand experience of seeing CPS workers come to evaluate children who had marks/signs of abuse and the caseworker often dismissing clear signs of danger and abuse because it wasn't bad compared to other cases. What is going to happen now that a CPS caseworker knows that if she opens a case on a family of 6 children, she will have an impossible time getting them a home? They will be less likely to open cases, quicker to overlook signs of danger or abuse, and children will be hurt as a result.

Who is going to care for the orphan of Phoenix? Could it be possible that God is calling SO FEW people to foster care/adoption that there is the abundance of children in need...or could it be that some of God's church is disobeying?

New addition to the Pierre Family!

It's official! We're expecting!!

In November we will be re-opening our foster license. We will be a foster family to a baby girl 0-3 months old. Of course we would love to adopt again, but it doesn't typically happen as quickly/easily as it did with our older 2. We are looking forward to this new journey! We do not know how long we will get to keep each baby girl, but we are thankful for the opportunity to love and care for some babies.

When we told Mya, she spent ten minutes dancing around the house in her underwear singing, "We're getting a baby girl! ooohhh yeahhh! oooo yeahh! Its a girl! A baby girl!" and today I overheard her reassuring Judah that he'll always be her favorite baby, even though she might be a little busy now helping mommy with a new, smaller baby. She also begged me to buy Judah a potty so that she can start potty-training him. "Mommy, we don't want to mess with two babies in diapers at once, so we should get to work and make Judah use the toilet." And every night she's been praying, "God, please bring us a baby girl who was getting abused so badly so we can love her and help her get better."

Marcel on the other hand has been having "conversations" with Judah as well. He's been trying to teach Judah how to resist girl germs and told Judah it's time to get serious and start praying Mommy and Daddy change their mind and get a boy instead...otherwise, the women won't outnumber the girls anymore. His prayer a few nights ago was, "God, please have CPS drop off a boy by accident."

And Judah is clueless about how his world is about to change...but is excitedly saying that we're getting "a babay" :)

new posts @ T4A

I have been terrible at updating this blog. It is really ironic to me that even though I am NOT in the least bit technological and could happily survive with a journal and a pen and be rid of computers entirely, that so much of my writing is involving blog updates, status updates, and tweets (that word never existed in my vocabulary a few months ago) and #i-still-don't-get-the-point-of-#s-in-tweets.

Thank you to all who have been reading/giving feedback... here are my newer posts:

"Easy to Forget"  - A look at Ephesians 1 and how easy it is to forget what we have gained as a result of our adoption...and the wonder it is to remember!

"Obedience vs Legalism"   Sometimes the same action has different motivations...knowing your Father makes all the difference between an obedient life and a legalistic one.

"Rocks-Its All I Can Offer" What can I offer God?

"Getting to Know Dad" Reflections on getting to know God and how it influences our conversations with him

"Temporary Pain"   Suffering can be crushing, but it is temporary. Your Father will help you lift your head above the waves to see what is waiting on the shore line...

thankful

The sweetest of friendships are the ones who walk by your side through many seasons of life. They love you at your lowest, embrace you at your weakest, endure you at your most foolish, and rejoice in your happiness. There is no way to know who will end up being these friends, because it takes time, mistakes, ups, downs…but most of all, time.

 I am so very thankful that God has blessed me with sweet friendships like these. I look around me and I am filled with thankfulness that God has loved me directly through such rich friendships, but especially for these friends who have bore with me for decades. These friends are overflowing with God’s love in a way that always pursues me, is patient with me, is kind toward me, and is quick to forgive me.  They never let me stay stuck in resentment, bitterness, jealousy, or fear. They show me what it means to be like Jesus and what it means to live out 1 Corinthians 13. Life is richer because they walk it with me.

Thank you mostly my dear husband and best of friend…my sisters Lauren, Amber, and Heather…Aunt Chris & Uncle Brent 

Philippians 1: 3 “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”